hi andrea,
i think his message is that we should give ourselves over totally to love, risk everything, be prepared to burn in it's fire, hold nothing back. only by doing this can we live fully and know the passion and heights that love can take us to. it's not so much that love is pain but that letting ourselves go to love can take us to both heaven and hell.
personally i find it makin harder to let myself go in this way as time goes on and the well of sadness from love lost grows ever deeper. the way i see it, the very concept of love is that it is eternal, if you love someone, you feel for them in everything they feel. that love can never die because it goes beyond your own expectations and into hopes for the others life and happiness. sometimes that does not include us.
in the modern day people seem to take love lightly, it comes and it goes, it is no longer seen as something to be nutured, something to be worked at and ultimately enjoyed. it is seen as something transient, here today gone tomorrow. that's a shame because when you see old people who have been in love for years and still are, then you know how deep it can get.
ram das has very illuminating things to say on the subject, if you ever get the chance to listen to his tapes you will find that he has a very deep insight into the human condition.
sorry for not writing in indonesian but i'm reduced to reading only after many years of not using the language.
hope you are in a state of love!