Kalo mau married, apa elo lebih suka istri tinggal di rumah, jaga anak atau isteri kerja, turut bantu ekonomi keluarga ?

anuy comments

ini cuma tanya sama co ya?

ga peduli, mo kasih komen jg. sebagai calon istri, aku prefer stay dirumah, ga mao kerja .. mo belajar bolongin kantong suami aja.. he,he,he,he...

belajar memanfaatkan penghasilan suami dengan baik, ya kan Tin?
itu ilmu tingkat tinggi di dunia peristrian..

aku sih maunya kerja, kan mayan bantuin keuangan keluarga, plus istri jg punya uang sendiri buat beli2

kok yg jawabin cewek semua?
kalo g, sebenernya sih enak kerja, selain punya uang sendiri, berasa lebih mandiri, dan ngga bosen nganggur di rumah aja ( walo ga bener juga, kan ibu rumah tangga tuh kerjaannya banyak, ngurus anak, ngurus rumah, ngurus pembantu, dll..) tapi toh, paling enak ada option, boleh kerja, boleh ga. ga terpaksa harus kerja...

Read this!!! ...

http://www.smh.com.au/news/opinion/ju...ntentSwap1

Just as marriage is coming back in vogue …
… more and more it is women who don't want to wait around for the "happily ever after", writes Miranda Devine.

WHEN 42-year-old mother of two Helen Kirwan-Taylor wrote a newspaper article last month saying she finds motherhood boring, she became the most vilified woman in Britain. "Sorry, but my children bore me to death" was the title of her article in the Daily Mail in which she confessed to hating reading bedtime stories and spending two hours texting her girlfriends while watching a movie with her children.

Readers condemned her as a selfish princess who shouldn't be allowed to have children. But her confession also broke a taboo around the modern female's dissatisfaction with family life. Whether it is offloading the kids to day care or filling their hours with structured activities, mothers may be losing the art of enjoying their children.
But to William Doherty, a professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota, Kirwan-Taylor's crie de coeur may have been part of a healthy backlash against "excessive child-centredness".

Doherty, who is in Sydney this week to speak at the National Christian Family Conference, is the marriage therapist who coined the term "overscheduled kids" to describe the phenomenon of children whose parents make them the centre of the universe.

But at a forum on marriage yesterday he explored the more fundamental problem of modern families - marriage breakdown.

It is not so much female unhappiness with motherhood that is causing problems for children, but the increasing willingness of mothers to walk out on marriage. As the latest Bureau of Statistics figures show, more than ever it is women who are the ones filing for divorce. The shift of power in marriages over the past 40 years has led to a stampede of women leaving the institution. How to put the genie back in the bottle without reversing female emancipation was the question hovering in the background at the forum.

Doherty says the first "divorce generation" of young people, now in their 20s and 30s, "still aspires to marriage, across all income levels". We live in such an "atomised world" where wider community social connections and extended families are disappearing so there is more hunger than ever for the intimate institution of marriage. Certainly, a rise in marriage rates here and in the US, and corresponding dip in divorce rates, would suggest marriage is coming back into vogue.

Anne Hollonds, the chief executive of Relationships Australia, says she perceives a real desire by people to form a "solid, sustainable relationship". There has been a 50 per cent increase in inquiries about her pre-marriage education courses this year. "These are younger people in first-time marriages, who are highly educated and value education as a means to ensure success in later life."

Others at the forum discussed the idea of pre-marriage education at school, focusing on how to nurture friendships, an art that may be lost to generations with iPods connected to their ears.

Researcher Barry Maley, whose Taking Children Seriously project for the Centre for Independent Studies has been the best of its kind in Australia to state the case for marriage, says family law is fundamental to the strength of the institution. He advocates re-introducing the concept of fault, in some form, into divorce. "The most egregious conduct by one of the spouses is completely ignored at the moment. The justice of taking it into account is unarguable … A victim of misconduct in marriage would have the possibility of a settlement that mitigates that loss of investment."

Some discussion at the forum revolved around a six-year US study of 65 married couples that found the secret to a lasting marriage was a husband who did what his wife says. (Red: ) While the idea of advocating husbands become doormats is doomed to fail, clearly tension in marriage has emerged as power has shifted from men to women.

Doherty gave the example of a post on an online chat site, thenest.com, in which a mother complained that her husband had smacked their toddler. She did not believe in physical punishment for children and reprimanded her husband, saying if he did not change his behaviour she would kick him out of the house. Of 19 mothers who responded, only one was not supportive. But what made her think she had the sole right to throw the husband out? Her attitude, said Doherty, was as if "she were hiring a babysitter who did something you did not agree with".

Doherty is most concerned about the ever widening "marriage gap", in that highly educated, high-income people are sustaining lifelong marriages with involved fathers, leading to the emergence of a two-tier society - the marriage haves and have-nots. Lowly educated, low-income women are "apt to try serial relationships with multiple fathers - the kinds of complex family forms which would tax people who had more interpersonal competence than most of us have".

He believes the social change required to reinvigorate marriage could take cues from other grass roots movements such as the push against drunk driving or domestic violence. But it is vital that in a secular society, religious groups aren't seen to hijack the conversation.

Best, says Doherty, to base the "marriage movement" on common language of research which shows that children raised in an intact marriage do better in general on all scales than those who aren't.

A new generation burnt by the experience of their parents' failures, yet longing for love because of it, are on the threshold of embracing marriage or rejecting it. This makes more urgent the task of "selling" the institution as the foremost protector of children and ultimately the best vehicle for human fulfillment, even if reading bedtime stories gets tedious at times.

gua pribadi lebih suka istri ngurus anak tapi kalo kita sendiri tidak bisa nyari nafkah, apa boleh buat

Kalo sekarang gue mo isteri yg kerja....kalo ndak gue bisa kerja dibanting tulang , and marriage gonna be like hell.
Kalo emang duit bukan persoalan, gue sih terserah isteri lah, kalo dia ndak ada kegiatan kan bisa bosan dirumah. Kalo ada kegiatan paling tidak sampe dirumah bisa nanya "hows ur day? " or "what're u up to today?".

gw sih pilih istri dirumah, gw ga mau anak gw tumbuh tanpa kasih sayang salah satu ortunya, misalkan dia boring pun bisa jalan2 kemana kek

@toon
salah lu kalo mau istri yg kerja..yang ada mah cari istri yang kaya tau jadi elo ga sampe dibantingin ama tulang..payah neh

Ini mah tergantung masing2 situasi rumah tangganya.

Kalo si suami penghasilannya mencukupi, ga ada masalah buat istri kerja di rumah. Cari duit banyak2 buat apa juga kalo ga buat kebahagiaan anak, and kebahagiaan anak itu kan sebetulnya ga bisa diukur pake duit, cuma dari kasih sayang dengan perhatian, dll.

Tapi kalo istri yg penghasilannya lebih gede, pendidikannya lebih tinggi, atau penghasilan suami ga mencukupi, kenapa nggak co yg tinggal di rumah jagain anaknya, kan ga harus ce yg tinggal di rumah? Kasih sayang bapak pasti juga sama diinginkannya oleh anak dibanding kasih sayang ibu. Buat mereka sama saja ayah atau ibu yang di rumah, mestinya.

Tapi itu juga tergantung ukuran 'cukup' kita. Musti tahu takaran masing-masing. Makanya mesti siap dulu sebelum punya anak. Kalo aku, serius cari duit 'secukupnya' (menurut takaranku), baru punya anak. Jadi ntar kalo dah punya anak bisa serius ngerawat anak tanpa terbagi perhatiannya.

Kalo duitnya ga cukup2, ya cari duit terus.. ntar kalo dah merasa cukup ternyata udah tua.. ya adopsi laaaaaaaa..