Some facts about Mr. T:
1. Before Mr.T was born there were only 25 letters in the alphabet.
2. The T virus in Resident Evil is based on what happens to a person
when they are exposed overwhelming amounts of pity inflicted by Mr. T.
There is currently no cure. One night Mr. T took a 10 p.m. train home.
He still refuses to give it back.
3. Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes
the element of surprise.
4. Mr. T can walk on water. He can also walk on fire. His preference
however, is to walk on fools.
5. Mr. T has removed Pee Wee Herman from existence for making fun of
his cereal.
6. Mr. T scared the black out of Michael Jackson.
7. Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
8. As a child MR. T used to go into the sewers of NY and hunt alligators.
I know what you are thinking: "There are no alligators in the sewers of
NY". Yeah...Now!
9. Google won't search for Mr. T because it knows you don't find Mr. T,
he finds you.
10. If you have ever beaten Mr. T at a game, you obviously didn't know
the rules.
11. Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is
folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the
situation, he is always understood.
12. The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
13. Death is Mr. T's way of saying 'Slow the fuck down'.
14. Mr. T was almost involved in a second car crash. To avoid the
crash, he folded his arms and slowly shook his head. The car decided it
was safer to avoid Mr. T.
15. Contrary to popular belief, Mr. T was not beat by Sylvester
Stallone in Rocky III. He actually lost to Stallone's stuntman, Chuck
Norris. It took 5 hours of work by a dozen makeup artists to make Chuck
Norris ugly enough to be a believable Stallone. Even with Chuck Norris,
it was still necessary to use 3 metric tons of animal traquilizers to
knock Mr. T out long enough for a 10 count.
16. When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his
hand prints after the cement was dry.
17. When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to
gold.
18. Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just
kills them.
19. A common and widespread form of capital punishment in olden times
was known as "pitification", where fools, sometimes in large numbers
were brought before Mr. T and pitied to death. Later, the process was
deemed too messy and inhumane. Thus, impalement and crucifixion were
invented.
20. Mr. T walked in front of a speeding bus. Needless to say, he was
charged with 7 counts of manslaughter.
21. Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting
staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
22. Mr.T has created a laxative. The box contains only a picture of Mr.
T with his arms crossed but that image alone can make a person shit
themselves.
23. Mr. T once fell into a pool of lava. He nearly drowned.
24. Mr. T once ate four 72 oz. steaks in 12 minutes. He spent the first
5 minutes laughing at the fact it takes Chuck Norris fifteen minutes to
eat three.
25. The last time Mr.T went hunting he got a 10 point buck, a white
rhino and two bald eagles... He is no longer allowed into the Zoo.
26. Someone once suggested that Mr. T's first name is Pit. His body was
found 10 seconds later. The police concluded that he committed
suicide by stabbing himself with a Mohawk 389 times, choking himself
with a gold chain and by eating both of his own legs.
27. Mr T once punched his way back to the 80's just to kill Richard
Simmonds
28. Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only
survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time.