Satu hari Sultan merasa sungguh boring n bete abis, jadi dia tanya
bendahara, "Bendahara, siapa paling pandai saat ini?"

"Abunawas" jawab Bendahara.

Sultan pun manggil Abunawas n baginda bertitah: "Kalau kamu pandai, coba buat satu cerita seratus kata tapi setiap kata mesti dimulai dengan huruf 'J'. Terperanjat Abunawas, tapi setelah berfikir, diapun mulai bercerita:

Jeng Juminten janda judes, jelek jerawatan, jari jempolnya jorok. Jeng juminten jajal jualan jamu jarak jauh Jogya-Jakarta. Jamu jagoannya: jamu jahe. "Jamu-jamuuu..., jamu jahe-jamu jaheee...!" Juminten jerit- jerit jajakan jamunya, jelajahi jalanan. Jariknya jatuh, Juminten jatuh jumpalitan. Jeng Juminten jerit-jerit: "Jarikku jatuh, jarikku jatuh..."

Juminten jengkel, jualan jamunya jungkir-jungkiran, jadi jemu juga. Juminten jumpa Jack, jejaka Jawa jomblo, juragan jengkol, jantan, juara judo. Jantungnya Jeng Juminten janda judes jadi jedag-jedug. Juminten janji jera jualan jamu, jadi julietnya Jack. Johny justru jadi jelous. Juminten jadi juliet-nya Jack. Johny juga jejaka jomblo, jalang, juga jangkung.

Julukannya, Johny Jago Joget. "Jieehhh, Jack jejaka Jawa, Jum?" joke- nya Johny. Jakunnya jadi jungkat-jungkit jelalatan jenguk Juminten. "Jangan jealous, John..." jawab Juminten.

Jumat, Johny jambret, jagoannya jembatan Joglo jarinya jawil-jawil jerawatnya Juminten. Juminten jerit-jerit: "Jack, Jack, Johny jahil, jawil-jawil!!!" Jack jumping-in jalan, jembatan juga jemuran. Jack jegal Johny, Jebreeet..., Jack jotos Johny. Jidatnya Johny jenong, jadi jontor juga jendol... jeleekk. "John, jangan jahilin Juminten...!" jerit Jack... Jantungnya Johny jedot-jedotan, "Janji, Jack, janji... Johnny jera..." jawab Johny.

Juni, Jack jadikan Johny join jualan jajajan jejer Juminten. Jhony jadi jongosnya Jack-Juminten, jongkok jagain jualan jus jengkol jajanan jurumudi jurusan Jogja-Jombang, julukannya Jus Jengkol Johny "jolly-jolly jumper."

Jumpalagi, jek...!!! jangan joba-joba jikin jerita jayak jini jagi jeh...!!! jusah jamit-jamit jabang jayi.

This is BY FAR the best email I have EVER gotten. Thought I would share it. This is even funnier when you realize it's real!
Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won......

Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers,were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job ".

gua blom bisa tidur neh :|
ngomong ngomong ada yg punya forward forward tentang friends ga? post donk pingin baca nih

Ga bisa tidur? Sipp bikin logo, header, footer, or total layout buat board gih. Hehehehe.

sedikit humor!

Ada dua anak kembar namanya Tono dan Tino.
Tono mempunyai sebuah perahu dayung yang
sudah sangat tua.
Kok kebetulan suatu hari istrinya si Tino itu
meninggal bersamaan dengan hari tenggelamnya
perahu dayung si Tono itu.
Beberapa hari kemudian seorang wanita tua melihat
Tono, dan secara tidak sengaja salah mengenalinya
sebagai Tino yang kehilangan istrinya itu.
Kata wanita itu kepada Tono, "Saya turut sedih atas
kehilangan anda. Anda pasti merasa sedih."
Nah si Tono mengira bahwa wanita itu berbicara
tentang perahu dayungnya itu, menjawab "Sebenarnya
sih saya bisa dibilang malah senang karena bisa
menyingkirkannya. Dia sudah amat tua sekali bahkan
sudah jelek dari pertama kalinya. Bagian bawahnya
sudah lapuk dan berbau amis sekali. Bagian
punggungnyapun sudah sangat jelek dan lubang di
bagian depannya sudah sangat lebar. Setiap kali
aku menggunakannya, lubangnya bertambah
besar dan dia bocor tidak karuan. Saya kira yang
mengakhirinya adalah ketika saya menyewakan dia
kepada 4 orang pemuda yang sedang bersenang-
senang tempo hari. Saya sudah memperingatkan
mereka bahwa dia sudah tidak begitu enak dipakai
tapi mereka masih juga mau menggunakannya.
Mereka berempat mencoba masuk ke dalam
bersamaan dan akhirnya dia terbelah persis di
tengah-tengah."
Wanita tua itupun pingsan...><

Blueberry, itu cerita beneran? Buset jellyfish masuk ke situ apa ga sakit?

Lee Sum Wan: Hello can i speak to Annie Wan

Mr Sori: Yes u could speak to me.

Lee Sum Wan: No, i want to speak to Annie Wan!

Mr Sori: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Lee Sum Wan: Im Sum Wan. And i need to talk to Annie Wan! Its urgent.

Mr Sori: I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But whats
this urgent matter about?

Lee Sum Wan: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother was
involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe wan is being
sent to the hospital. Right now Avery Wan is going to the hospital.

Mr Sori: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital
from the accident that isnt an urgent matter! You may find this
hilarious but i dont have time for this!!!

Lee Sum Wan: You are rude. Who are you?

Mr Sori: Im Sori.

Lee Sum Wan: You should be sorry. Now give me your name!

Mr Sori: Im Sori!!

Lee Sum Wan: I dont like your tone of voice Mr and i dont care, give me your
name!

Mr Sori: Look lady, I told you already Im Sori! Im Sori!! Im SORI!!!
you didnt even give me your name!

Lee Sum Wan: I told u before im Sum Wan! Sum Wan!!! You better be careful
my father is Sum Buddy. And my uncle holds a very big position
in the company. He is Noe Buddy.

Mr Sori: Oh im so scared(sarcastically).Look i dont care about ur uncle
he's a nobody. Everybody thinks his top dog and holding an important
position in the company.

Lee Sum Wan: No Avery Buddy just married my aunt. And Avery Buddy
doesn't work there.

Mr Sori: Like i said i dont care which one of ur aunt screws everybody
and i also know that not everybody works here! Jeez!!!

Lee Sum Wan: Wheech Wan is my sis!

Mr. Sori: I dont know which one is ur sis! Why in gods name u think i
do!? Look i got work to do and if im feeling mischievious i'll
broadcast it on the P.A system saying.
"Attention, someone called and said that anyones brother just got involved in an
accident. But not to worry no one got injured and no one was sent to the
hospital. But everyone is going to the hospital anyways. The father maybe a
somebody but if u're their uncle, u're a nobody. "how bout that!?

Toot....Toot....Toot.................

Azzy : gue dpt dr temen kerja sih....jd beneran ato kagak, yah mboh. Disitu sih bilangnya beneran sih.

Jojon : kocak oi

nice...

A man wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees it is in perfect order. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirin and notices a note on the table:
Honey, Breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping.
Love you.

He goes to the kitchen. And sure enough, a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper await him. His son is also at the table, eating. The man asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well you came home after 3 am, drunk and delirious. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway and gave yourself a black eye when you walked in to the door."
Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, with breakfast on the table waiting for me?" The son replies "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants you shouted, 'lady get your hands off me! I'm Married!'"

lutu jugaa..

1. Key-in the first 3 digit of your phone number into the calculator.
2. Multiply by 80.
3. Add 1.
4. Multiply by 250.
5. Plus last four digit of phone number.
6. Plus last four digit of phone number again.
7. Minus 250.
8. Divide by 2 at last.

This true story below just about depicts the way we go around building our business in a complicated manner.

KEEP IT SIMPLE..............

When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity (Ink won't flow down to the writing surface).

In order to solve this problem, they hired Andersen Consulting
(Accenture today). It took them one decade and $12 million. They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to
over 300 degrees C.

And guys, do you know what did Russians do to solve this issue.........???????

The Russians used a Pencil only without spending a single cent !!!

So.....be FOCUS ON SOLUTIONS, NOT ON PROBLEMS...

Have a great day!!

Sekarang ini kalo naik taksi harus waspada, karena begitu banyak kejadian - kejadian yang kurang berkenan di hati kita. Terutama kaum hawa, so.. ini lah tips nya untuk berhati - hati ketika ingin naik taksi Sesuai dengan isi surat keputusan bersama tiga mantri, mantri cacar, mantri beranak, mantri sunat, No. 13

13 TIPS AMAN NAIK TAKSI

1. Saat menyetop periksa jumlah roda saat anda nyetop taxi,
pastikan jumlahnya ada 4, kalo cuma 3 berarti anda naik bajaj.

2. Periksa juga jumlah kursinya, kalau jumlahnya banyak, berarti
anda naik Metromini...

3. Sebutkan tujuan anda dengan benar untuk menghindari supir taxi membawa anda ke rumahnya.

4. Jangan malu untuk bertanya karena malu bertanya sesat di jalan, tapi jangan terlalu banyak bertanya karena besar kemaluan susah berjalan.

5. Perhatikan selalu argo meter, pastikan tulisannya 'argometer',
jangan sampe tulisannya argo bromo atau argo gede (karena
kesalahan ini amat fatal & membuat anda makin jauh dari tujuan).

6. Sama pak supir jangan terlalu galak nanti diusir, jangan pula
terlalu baik nanti ditaksir.

7.Yakinkan diri Anda bahwa Anda sudah duduk didalam taxi itu
sebelum taxinya jalan, karena kalau tidak, jangan-jangan Anda
masih duduk di halte bus, dan belum terbawa oleh taxi itu.

8. Jangan lompat ke luar taxi selagi taxi itu berlari kencang. Itu
akan sangat membahayakan orang lain.

9. Jangan pernah tertidur di dalam perjalanan dengan taxi, untuk
menghindari supir taxi menagih tarif taxi plus tarif sewa kamar.

10. Kalau Anda laki2 dan supir taxinya bertanya siapa nama Anda,
jangan pernah mengaku bahwa nama Anda Ibrahim, nanti Anda
dikira Tommy Soeharto. Apalagi kalau anda perempuan, jangan mengaku bernama Ibrahim nanti dikira berbohong.

11. Jangan naik taxi yang ada tulisannya "Tarif Lama". Anda bisa
ditagih terus-menerus dalam setahun atau dua tahun ke depan sehabis naik taxi itu.

12. Kalau Anda bosan dengan kerutinan kerja dari hari ke hari!,
Sebelum turun taxi, tempeleng dulu supirnya, dan anda akan
menemukan pengalaman baru yang dapat membawa Anda keluar dari rutinitas.

13. Merokok dalam taxi ber-AC sebaiknya dihindari, kalau tidak
dapat dihindari sebaiknya jangan menyundut supir taxi dengan rokok untuk menghindari ketidaknyamanan berkendaraan.

gile tuh mau naik taksi ato adain survey tuh...

priscilla menulis:
Sekarang ini kalo naik taksi harus waspada, karena begitu banyak kejadian - kejadian yang kurang berkenan di hati kita. Terutama kaum hawa, so.. ini lah tips nya untuk berhati - hati ketika ingin naik taksi Sesuai dengan isi surat keputusan bersama tiga mantri, mantri cacar, mantri beranak, mantri sunat, No. 13

13 TIPS AMAN NAIK TAKSI

1. Saat menyetop periksa jumlah roda saat anda nyetop taxi,
pastikan jumlahnya ada 4, kalo cuma 3 berarti anda naik bajaj.

2. Periksa juga jumlah kursinya, kalau jumlahnya banyak, berarti
anda naik Metromini...

3. Sebutkan tujuan anda dengan benar untuk menghindari supir taxi membawa anda ke rumahnya.

4. Jangan malu untuk bertanya karena malu bertanya sesat di jalan, tapi jangan terlalu banyak bertanya karena besar kemaluan susah berjalan.

5. Perhatikan selalu argo meter, pastikan tulisannya 'argometer',
jangan sampe tulisannya argo bromo atau argo gede (karena
kesalahan ini amat fatal & membuat anda makin jauh dari tujuan).

6. Sama pak supir jangan terlalu galak nanti diusir, jangan pula
terlalu baik nanti ditaksir.

7.Yakinkan diri Anda bahwa Anda sudah duduk didalam taxi itu
sebelum taxinya jalan, karena kalau tidak, jangan-jangan Anda
masih duduk di halte bus, dan belum terbawa oleh taxi itu.

8. Jangan lompat ke luar taxi selagi taxi itu berlari kencang. Itu
akan sangat membahayakan orang lain.

9. Jangan pernah tertidur di dalam perjalanan dengan taxi, untuk
menghindari supir taxi menagih tarif taxi plus tarif sewa kamar.

10. Kalau Anda laki2 dan supir taxinya bertanya siapa nama Anda,
jangan pernah mengaku bahwa nama Anda Ibrahim, nanti Anda
dikira Tommy Soeharto. Apalagi kalau anda perempuan, jangan mengaku bernama Ibrahim nanti dikira berbohong.

11. Jangan naik taxi yang ada tulisannya "Tarif Lama". Anda bisa
ditagih terus-menerus dalam setahun atau dua tahun ke depan sehabis naik taxi itu.

12. Kalau Anda bosan dengan kerutinan kerja dari hari ke hari!,
Sebelum turun taxi, tempeleng dulu supirnya, dan anda akan
menemukan pengalaman baru yang dapat membawa Anda keluar dari rutinitas.

13. Merokok dalam taxi ber-AC sebaiknya dihindari, kalau tidak
dapat dihindari sebaiknya jangan menyundut supir taxi dengan rokok untuk menghindari ketidaknyamanan berkendaraan.

TEAM WORK

There are four people named everybody, somebody, anybody and nobody. There was an important job to be done and everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that, because it was everybody’s job. Everybody thought anybody could do it. Nobody realized that everybody would not do it. It ended up that everybody blamed somebody when nobody did what anybody could have done.

Heheheh pernah dikasih tau nih waktu pelajaran human resources.

Nawi seorang berandal kampung suka sekali
memaki-maki. Suatu hari di
jalan ia memaki seorang anak kecil yang tidak
sengaja menumpahkan baksonya ke kaki Nawi. Dengan sadar Nawi
berkata: "Guoblok!!!,matamu ditaruh dimana. Itu bakso makanen nganggo
cangkemmu ojo ditumpahno nek sikhilku!!"

Seorang kepala agama memperhatikan kelakuan
jelek Nawi dan berkata:
"Kamu jangan memaki orang, itu nggak baik."
Kuberi tiga kali kesempatan untuk bertobat kalau tidak Tuhan
akan menghukummu."
Hari pertama, Nawi jalan dipinggir lapangan
sepak bola.
Tanpa diduga sebuah bola menerpa mukanya
dengan keraaaas.
Nawi memaki: "Jancuk iki rai (muka) dudu
gawang, guoblok kowe %$?!!"
Kepala agama itu lewat dan berkata "ini yang
pertama, ingat."
Esoknya Nawi jalan di dekat sungai. Tiba-tiba sebuah
kantong sampah dilempar ke arahnya, ia memaki: "Jangkrik iki wong dudu
tempat sampahe sampeyan!@#!
Setelah memaki, kepala agama itu lewat dan
memperingati untuk yang kedua kalinya.
Nawi teringat maka ia berhati-hati. Tapi
keesokan harinya ia melewati
jalan besar ingin menyebrang jalan, tiba-tiba
sebuah sepeda motor menyerempet tepat mengenai siku. Tanpa sadar
ia memaki: "jancuk matamu nang ndi seh....?!/@##!!
Seketika itu kepala agama itu lewat, menandakan
kesempatan ketiga.
Tiba-tiba langit gelap gulita, seberkas petir
turun menyambar.
"duer.... deer.....derrrr (menggema),"
Brakkkk.......
Seseorang jatuh hangus, ternyata justru kepala agama itu yang
tersengat petir.
Dari langit terdengar samar-samar, seseorang
malaikat memaki:
"Jancuk......... meleset..rek...!!!"

JUNGLISH (JUNGLE ENGLISH)
What is Junglish? Jungle English..like one mentioned
below:

Javelish.. The typical Javanese language: 'lho',
'lha', 'tho', 'kok',
'ki',
etc
-Lho, I already bought that book !
-Kok, buying again ?
-I told you many times 'tho' !
-Lha, I didn't know ... how ki !?
-Don't be like that, no....!?

Jakartenglish ? Jakarte English is marked by the
'sih', 'deh', 'dong',
'nih', etc
-That book is very good, deh.
-Can you speak english?.. yeah a little sih I can!
-Use my money first nih..
-Give me more dong..
-How sih? Little little angry..

Surobenglish is marked by 'tah' and the famous word is
'diancuk'
-"No fuc***g good" ... is pronounced by arek Suroboyo
using "No diancuk
good"!
-Do you feel sick, tah ?

Other exclamation words of Java : 'wo_', 'wah', 'wé_',
'jian', and
'jé_'
-Wé_ lha this book is mine jé...!
-Wo_, only like that tho!
-Wah, expensive, tho?
-Jian, Paijem is so beautiful tenan.

Sundanglish is also available such as 'atuh', 'euy',
'mah'
-Well, if that kind, it pretty so-so atuh
-It can't be that way euy..
-I am mah, not like that... anything else ?

There are also abundant 'sound effect' in Javanesse
language.
-Suddenly, mak bedhengus den Tukiman appeared
-My head feels pain, mak cleng!
-Mak tlepok, I got a manggo !
-My chicken is suddenly died, mak cekengkeng
-Mak gedebug, Kampreté fell down.
-Mak jegagik.... Oh, trondholo !

Mosting gambar bisa nggak ya, moga2 bisa dan nggak basi...

CERITA ini terjadi di kalangan anggota Dewan yang terhormat.
Seorang anggota Dewan pada suatu siang ditelepon oleh seorang perempuan.

Suara di sana berkata, "Selamat siang Bapak Anggota Dewan."
Dari suaranya perempuan itu masih muda.
"Siang."
"Ini siapa ya?" tanya anggota Dewan itu.
"Saya Anne, yang pernah tidur bersama Bapak waktu itu," jawab si perempuan.
"Hahh???" terdengar penasaran.
"Kalau Bapak tidak ingin rahasia itu terbongkar, Bapak harus memberi saya uang tutup mulut!" ancam si perempuan.
"Oke, baiklah," jawab anggota Dewan itu pasrah. Kemudian dia berpikir, di mana pernah meniduri perempuan tersebut. Beberapa hari kemudian si anggota Dewan itu menyerahkan sejumlah uang di suatu tempat yang telah ditentukan. Tetapi, setelah beberapa hari kemudian, siperempuan itu menelepon lagi dan meminta hal yang sama.

Dengan hati yang masih penasaran, anggota Dewan yang terhormat itu mengabulkan permintaannya. Tetapi, anehnya setelah beberapa minggu kemudian, wanita itu meminta hal
yang sama dengan ancaman yang sama. Akhirnya, dengan pasrah anggota Dewan itu mengabulkan permintaan tersebut.
Walaupun begitu, anggota Dewan itu menjawab dalam teleponnya. "Okelah aku kabulkan permintaanmu. Tetapi, jangan bikin penasaran gitu dong. Saya cuma ingin tahu emangnya
kita pernah tidur bersama di mana?"

Wanita itu menjawab dengan lembutnya, "Kita sama-sama anggota DPR, kita kan pernah tidur bersama pada waktu Bu Mega membacakan pidatonya di Gedung DPR!"

================================================
EKSEKUSI

Tiga orang wanita di kota Mexico yang sedang mabuk berat tertidur di pinggir jalan dan begitu bangun mereka sudah berada di dalam penjara.
Mereka tidak ingat sama sekali apa yang sudah mereka lakukan tadi malam.

Wanita pertama, yang berambut coklat, diikat di kursi listrik dan
dipersilakan memberikan kata-kata terakhirnya.
Dia berkata, "Aku berasal dari Sekolah Teologi Baylor dan saya
percaya pada Tuhan yang Mahakuasa bahwa Ia akan membela orang yang tidak bersalah." Petugas eksekusi menekan tombol di kursi listrik tersebut, namun tidak terjadi apa-apa, sehingga mereka menganggap bahwa Tuhan tidak menginginkan orang ini mati, jadi mereka membebaskan dia.

Giliran wanita kedua yang berambut merah, diikat di kursi listrik dan
memberikan kata-kata yang terakhir, "Aku berasal dari Sekolah Hukum Texas dan aku percaya pada kekuatan keadilan yang akan membela orang yang tidak bersalah." Petugas lalu menekan tombol kursi listrik itu, lagi-lagi tidak terjadi apa-apa. Mereka menganggap bahwa kuasa hukum berpihak pada wanita ini, jadi mereka membebaskan dia.

Wanita yang terakhir, berambut pirang, diikat di kursi listrik dan
berkata, "Saya seorang sarjana teknik listrik dari Texas, dan sekarang juga saya akan memberitahu Anda, bahwa tidak ada seorang pun yang bisa mati di kursi listrik ini jika kabel yang di ujung sana itu tidak ditancapkan pada stop kontak!
".......Matilah Kau.......

What I Want in a Man

What I Want in a Man, Original List (age 22):
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover.

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32):
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week.

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42):
1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady --- splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw_top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends.

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52):
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers my name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends.

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62):
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend.

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72):
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet