Euro-English

The European Union commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communication, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Euro for short).

In the first year, S will be used instead of the soft C.
Sertainly sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.

Also, the hard C will be replased with K.
Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm.

In the sekond year, when the troublesome ph will be replaced by f . This will make words like fotograf 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horrible mes of silent es in the language is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing th by z and w by v!

During ze fiz year, ze unesesary O kan be dropd from vords kontaining OU, and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of letters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German.