Are You a Dead Duck ?

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she lay
her
pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
the
bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and
said,
"I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned
a
few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner
looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front
paws
on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He
then
looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the
dog
and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat.
The
cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The
cat
sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled
out of
the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this
is
most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a
bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock,
took
the bill. "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill
would
have been only $20, but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan ...."