Ciri2 orang dari status Facebook

1.Manusia Super Update
Kapanpun dan dimanapun update status. Status nya ga panjang2 amat..tapi terlihat bikin risih, karena hal2 yang ga terlalu penting juga dia publikasikan,
contoh : "Lagi makan di restoran A..", "Dalam perjalanan menuju neraka..", "Saatnya baca koran..", dsb..

2.Manusia Melankolis
Biasanya dia curhat di status. Entah karena ingin banyak diberi komentar dari teman2nya atau hanya sekedar menuangkan unek2nya ke facebook, tapi biasanya orang tipe ini menceritakan kisahnya dan terkadang menanyakan solusi yg terbaik kepada yang laen..
contoh : "Kamu sakitin aku..lebih baik aku cari yang lain..", "Cuma kamu yang terbaik buat aku..terima kasih km sudah sayang ama aku selama ini..", dsb..

3.Manusia Tukang Ngeluh
Ga pagi, ga siang, ga malem, ga dikasih ujan, ga dikasih panas, ga dikasih uang, ga dikasih makan, pokonya semuanya dia keluhkan..
contoh : " Jakarta maceeet..!! Panas pula..", "Aaaargh ujan, padahal baru nyuci mobil..sialan.
.!!", "Males ngapa2in.. cape hati gara2 si do'i..", dsb..

4.Manusia Sombong
Mungkin beberapa dari mereka ga berniat menyombongkan diri, tapi terkadang orang yang melihatnya, yang notabene tidak bisa seberuntung dia, merasa kalo statusnya itu kelewat sombong, dan malah bikin sebel..
contoh : "Otw ke Paris ..!!", "BMW ku sayang, saatnya kamu mandi..aku mandiin ya sayang..", dsb..

5.Manusia Puitis
Dari judulnya udah jelas. Status nya selalu diisi dengan kata2 mutiara, tapi ga jelas apa maksudnya. Bikin kita terharu? Bikin kita sadar atas pesan tersembunyi nya? atau cuma sekedar memancing komentar? Sampai saat ini, tipe orang seperti ini masih dipertanyakan. .
contoh : "Kita masing-masing adalah malaikat bersayap satu. Dan hanya bisa terbang bila saling berpelukan", "Mencintai dan dicintai adalah seperti merasakan sinar matahari dari kedua sisi",
"Jika kau hidup sampai seratus tahun, aku ingin hidup seratus tahun kurang sehari, agar aku tidak pernah hidup tanpamu", dsb...

6.Manusia in English
Tipe manusianya bisa seperti apa saja, apakah melankolis, puitis, sombong dan sebagainya. Tapi dia berusaha lebih keren dengan mengatakannya dalam bahasa Inggwis Gicyu Low..
contoh : "Tie and Chair..", "I can tooth, you Pink sun.." dsb..
Kira2 seperti itu lah..sebenernya masih banyak lagi dalam pikiran..tapi keburu mau berangkat..kapan2 diterusin ya..hehe..
Mudah2an ga ada yang tersinggung. .just 4 fun kok..

7. alay...
updatenya gaul2... dan bahasa dewa.. ejaan yang dialaykan.. contoh.." met moulnin all... pagiiieh yg cewrah... xixiixi" << lol~

8. obsesi...
ngarep... tp ga kesampaian.. pengen jd artis ga dapat2.. dll.. contoh : uwh... sesi pemotretan lagi! cape...

9. Sok tau..
sotoy tenarnya.. contoh : pemerintah selalu memanjakan rakyatnya.. bla...bla...bla. .. pdahal ga taw apa yang ditulis..

10. bioskop mania..
update film yang abis ditonton dan kasih comment.. contoh : ICE AGE 3..REcomended! !

11. tipe pedagang:
contoh: "jual sepatu bla bla bla"

12. tipe penyuluh masyarakat:
contoh: "jangan lupa dateng ke TPS, 5 menit utk 5 tahun bla..bla"

13. Pengguna Facebook Tipe Kaskuser
baru online 'PERTAMAXXXX GAN!'.... 5 menit lagi 'kalo berkenan cendolnya donk gannn'.... 1 jam lagi 'aduh sial gagal pertamax di trid sendiri'....... beberapa jam lagi 'YES GW UDAH ISO2000', trus nawarin 'bagi2 cendol gratiss di kaskus ngerayain ISO ' kalo online pagi 'pagi2 enaknya ngaskus gan!', 'tidur telat bangun pagi2 nyalain komputer ngaskus lagi'
Dan masukan lain yang tentunya jadi status of the year..

14.Manusia Alay ...(nggak jelas maunya apa).
Ada berbagai macam versi, dari tulisannya yang aneh, atau tulisannya biasa aja, hanya saja kosakata nya ga lazim..ato mungkin ada yg fusion...
Alay 1 : "DucH Gw4 5aYan9 b6t s4ma Lo..7aNgaN tin69aL!n akYu ya B3!bh..!!"
Alay 2 : "km mugh kog gag pernach ngabwarin aq lagee seech? kmuw maseeh saiangs sama aq gag seech sebenernywa?"
Alay 3 : "Ouh mY 9oD..!! kYknY4w c gW k3ReNz 48ee5h d3ch..!!"
(Khusus buat tipe ini, ga usah di baca juga gpp..saya pribadi juga mikir dulu buat nulis ini, walaupun jadinya kurang mirip sama yg aslinya..)

15.Tipe Hidden Message (1 lagi yg kepikiran ama saya gan..)
Tipe ini biasanya ga to the point, tapi tentunya punya niat biar orang yg dituju membaca nya..bagus2 kalo baca..kalo ngga? kelamaan nunggu, padahal langsung aja sms ya..
contoh : "For you my M***, I can't live without you..you are my bla bla bla..", "Heh, cewe bajingan..ngapain lo deket2in co gw?! kyk ga laku aja lo.." <<< (padahal ce tersebut ga jadi friend nya..mana bisa baca..)

16.Tipe Misterius
Tipe yang biasanya bikin banyak orang bertanya tanya atas apa maksud dari status orang tersebut..Biasanya dalam suatu kalimat membutuhkan Subjek + Predikat + Objek + Keterangan.. Tapi orang tipe ini mungkin hanya mengambil beberapa atau malah hanya 1 saja...Dan pastinya mengundang kontroversi. .
contoh : "Sudahlah..", "Telah berakhir.." <<< (apanya??), "Termenung..."

alay = ?

hmm me masuk mana yah.

kayaknya tipe 1-16 cocok semua ma gue...

Job Application

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

@ This guy is now my hero

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Golf 7.5, Barhopping 6.9 & Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User.

______________________________________

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support- Homeless.

I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate additional software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE, because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. The downside is that it also comes with a sub-program called Spend It 12.9 that can not be deleted. Watch this program VERY carefully, or you will have to refer to your manual again under 2nd Job - Mobile Home - Collecting Cans.

Be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. Recommend Flowers 2.1, Vacations 8.4 and Diamonds 5.0

WARNING!!!

DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 or Babysitter 17.0 These applications are not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system and your personal hard drive.

Best of luck,

Tech Support

Idiots Arise

"If there are any idiots in the classroom, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher.

After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

"Now then, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

My Error Messages :

*This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?

*Windows message: “Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)”

* Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)

*User Error: Replace user?

*Windows VirusScan 1.0 - “Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)”

*Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way.

She's going to be one upset little kid

hahahah kacauuuu. ati2 denger istri

Google in the year 2084

Drunk Dog

Mafia Dog

Biker Dog

Obat Ganteng

Windows versi China

Undangan Barbeque

Beware of dog

source: ketawa.com

Computer jokes

Error codes in Windows
# WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger
# WinErr 002: No Error - Yet
# WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file
# WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong
# WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused
# WinErr 006: Malicious error - Desqview found on drive
# WinErr 007: System price error - Inadequate money spent on hardware
# WinErr 008: Broken window - Watch out for glass fragments
# WinErr 009: Horrible bug encountered - God knows what happened
# WinErr 00A: Promotional literature overflow - Mailbox full
# WinErr 00B: Inadequate disk space - Free at least 50MB
# WinErr 00C: Memory hog error - More Ram needed. More! More!
# WinErr 00D: Window closed - Do not look outside
# WinErr 00E: Window open - Do not look inside
# WinErr 00F: Unexplained error - Please tell us how this happened
# WinErr 010: Reserved for future mistakes by our developers
# WinErr 011: Window open - Do not look outside
# WinErr 012: Window closed - Do not look inside
# WinErr 013: Unexpected error - Huh ?
# WinErr 014: Keyboard locked - Try anything you can think of.
# WinErr 018: Unrecoverable error - System destroyed. Buy new one.
# WinErr 019: User error - Not our fault. Is Not! Is Not!
# WinErr 01A: OS overwritten - Please reinstall all software.
# WinErr 01B: Illegal error - You are not allowed to get this error. Next time you will suffer a penalty for that.
# WinErr 01C: Uncertainty error - Uncertainty may be inadequate.
# WinErr 01D: System crash - We are unable to figure out our own code.
# WinErr 01E: Timing error - Please wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.
# WinErr 01F: Reserved for future mistakes of our developers.
# WinErr 020: Error recording error codes - Additional errors will be lost.
# WinErr 042: Virus error - A virus has been activated in a dos-box. The virus, however, requires Windows. All tasks will automatically be closed and the virus will be activated again.
# WinErr 079: Mouse not found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please click the left mouse button to continue.
# WinErr 103: Error buffer overflow - Too many errors encountered. Additional errors may not be displayed or recorded.
# WinErr 678: This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
# WinErr 683: Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure.
# WinErr 815: Insufficient Memory - Only 50,312,583 Bytes available.
# WinErr 912: Purchase a new copy of Windows today. Old license void. Windows has been deleted.

Computer Problem Report Form

1. Describe your problem:
________________________________
________________________________

2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
________________________________
________________________________

3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
________________________________
________________________________

4. Problem Severity:
A. Minor __
B. Minor __
C. Minor __
D. Trivial __

5. Nature of the problem:
A. Locked Up __
B. Frozen __
C. Hung __
D. Strange Smell __

6. Is your computer plugged in?
Yes __
No __

7. Is it turned on?
Yes __
No __

8. Have you tried to fix it yourself?
Yes __
No __

9. Have you made it worse?
Yes __

10. Have you had a friend who knows all about computers. Try to fix it for you?

Yes __ No __

11. Did they make it even worse?

Yes __

12. Have you read the manual?

Yes __ No __

13. Are you sure you've read the manual?

Maybe __ No __

14. Are you absolutely you've read the manual?

No __

15. If you read the manual, do you think you understood it?

Yes __ No __

16. If Yes, then explain why you can't fix the problem yourself.

________________________________
________________________________

17. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?

________________________________
________________________________

l8. If you answered nothing, then explain why you were logged in?
________________________________
________________________________

l9. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem?

Yes __ No __

20. Does the clock on your home VCR blink 12:00?

Yes __ What's a VCR? __

21. Do you have a copy of PCs for Dummies?

Yes __ No __

22. Do you have any independent witnesses to the problem?

Yes __ No __

23. Do you have any electronics products that DO work?

Yes __ No __

24. Is there anyone else you could blame this problem on?

Yes __ No __

25. Have you given the machine a good whack on the top?

Yes __ No __

26. Is the machine on fire?

Yes __ Not Yet __

27. Can you do something else instead of bothering me?

Yes __

CUSTOMER SUPPORT LOGS

Actual dialog of a former Customer Support employee:

Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Support: "What sort of trouble?"

Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.",

Support: "Went away?"

Customer:"They disappeared."

Support: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Customer: "Nothing."

Support: "Nothing?"

Customer: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Support: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

Customer: "How do I tell?"

Support: "Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"

Customer: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Support: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

Customer: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

Support: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

Customer: "What's a monitor?"

Support: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

Customer: "I don't know."

Support: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

Customer: ......"Yes, I think so."

Support: "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

Customer: ......"Yes, it is."

Support: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

Customer: "No."

Support: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Customer: ......"Okay, here it is."

Support: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

Customer: "I can't reach."

Support: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

Customer: "No."

Support: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

Customer:"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."

Support: "Dark?

Customer: "Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

Support: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Customer:"I can't."

Support: "No? Why not?"

Customer: "Because there's a power outage."

Support: "A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

Customer: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Support: "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

Customer: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Support: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Customer: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

Support: "TELL THEM YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Number One Idiot, so far in 2009
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away..

Number Two Idiot so far in 2009
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Number Three Idiot so far in 2009
A man, wanting to rob a Bank of Queensland , walked into the Branch and wrote 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank and crossed the street to the NAB Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was
written on a Bank of Queensland deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a NAB deposit slip or go back to Bank of Queensland looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left.

He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at the Bank of Queensland. Happened in Noosa!

Number Four Idiot so far in 2009
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's licence out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.

The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that she got off the licence. They arrested the robber two hours later.

Number Five Idiot so far in 2009
A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

Number Six Idiot so far in 2009
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he'd just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window. The brick bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Flexi-Glass... The whole event was caught on videotape.. Perth WA .

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local McDonalds and ordered a burger..
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said
he was sorry, but they only had iceberg..
Happened in Surfers Paradise !!!

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ''Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Melbourne .

JUST AN IDIOT :
When my husband and I arrived at a car dealers to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know - I already done that side.'
This was at the FORD dealership Dubbo.

Selamat menempuh hidup baru

Sebuah kapal pesiar mewah berpenumpang 1000 jiwa lebih yang tengah berlayar disamudra Hindia, mendadak mengalami kerusakan pada sistem navigasinya. Kerusakan tersebut alhasil membuat kapal melenceng keluar dari jalur pelayarannya dan menabrak gunung karang dibawah air.

Kepanikan dengan cepat melanda penumpang.

Ditengah hiruk-pikuk yang ada, terdengarlah suara mualim 1 lewat pengeras suara :

“Tingggg… Tonggggg!!! Diberitahukan kepada penumpang Kapal KM. Tic Tac Nick II yang kami hormati, bahwa kapal baru saja menabrak gunung karang! Tabrakan tersebut menyebabkan kerusakan pada anjungan kapal yang MUSTAHIL mampu diperbaiki oleh teknisi kami! Berhubung kapal akan segera tenggelam maka lupakanlah segala panduan keselamatan yang ada! Jangan sekali2 mengidahkan panduan keselamatan tersebut, karena ‘sampah itu’ dibuat oleh teknisi kami juga, dan kami jamin, anda tak ingin mempercayainya…. sigh… “

Suasana hening seketika.

“Tingggg… Tongggg!!! Saya selaku mualim 1 mewakili kapten dan seluruh ABK dengan setulus hati mengucapkan… SELAMAT JALAN DAN SELAMAT MENEMPUH HIDUP BARU!”

Detik berikutnya, kapal pun tenggelam………

50 Fun Things To Do During An Exam

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking. " Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

6. Bring cheerleaders.

7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular guy?"

8. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

10. Bring pets.

11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas. "If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

15. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..)

23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Forget this!" and walk out triumphantly.

25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i. e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink)

26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!"

32. Bring a water pistol with you.

33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.

37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

38. Bring cheat sheets for another class (make sure this is obvious.. like history notes for a calculus exam.. otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

39. When you walk in, complain about the heat.

40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

41. One word: Wrestlemania.

42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.

44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

45. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc.. sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".

50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx is a Terrible Teacher."

*yg bisa baca sampe abis, hueeebbbbbaaaaatttttttt n boleh juga tuh dicoba saat rapat ato lagi presentasi*

source:http://teknoinfo.web.id

Funny Instruction Labels
These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
( Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
( The shoplifter special! )

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
( Too late! you lose! )

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
( Are you sure? Let's experiment. )

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
( But wouldn't that save more time? )
( Whose body? )

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
( Really? Now I'm curious. )

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas? )

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
( somebody got paid big bucks to write this one... )

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief. )

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
( and that would be how?)